For 6 plus years now I've needed a "chaperone" to attend my own kids games/events and what not. If one is not with me, I'm "cornered" by an opportunist. Today I decided that I'm done hiding what goes on when I'm left alone at any of my own children's events. Right or wrong, I'm done pretending and I'm done covering and hiding the ugly truth for someone else. Before being with my husband, my Father attended all the events with me. 1. Because he enjoyed seeing the girls do their thing, but 2. Because he knew that if someone (anyone) wasn't with me that the opportunist would take advantage. Now I have my husband attend most things, but of course there are times in life that someone can't always be right there, sitting or standing next time. And trust me, for a woman such as myself, who is strong and independent it upsets me more that I "need" someone just so that I'm not confronted or dealing with nasty comments (you wouldn't even believe the comments).
I always thought that as time goes on thing would settle, the dust would be gone. But it turns out this type of opportunist is one that won't give up, thrives off these times and is none the less a person that will never be an actual adult, regardless of age. So what am I suppose to do? I can't run, I can't hide, I can't not attend the events and I can't take it. When my "chaperone" isn't there, my skin crawls, I wait for the comments, I hold back what I'd love to say (because I'm an adult, the bigger person), I ignore, but how long do I need to continue doing this? All I want is to go to my children's events, be happy, watch them and then go home with the kids.
I always sit/stand there thinking, "Do others know what's happening?" " Look at all these other people, happy to be at the events, getting along, smiling and not on the verge of tears". I don't like to compare, but when I'm caught in these situations I feel like that battered woman, who can't say a thing, can't yell out and can't get the heck out, I'm trapped. Of course, I'm not being "battered", but the feelings that go through a person's head in my shoes, is the same-I can promise you that. I can promise you that you'll see me looking the same and smiling, but it's to hide what's occurring or what has. And if you were in my head, you'd feel the overwhelming anger that I'm holding back as my heart is racing, the sadness as the tears are forming, the chills as the hair on my arms are rising and at times, the fear. Perhaps I should make light of the situation, bring a sign "Chaperone needed--opportunist present".
Sunday, September 25, 2011
Thursday, March 3, 2011
Excuse me State of Wisconsin, can we talk
Due to the fact that we live in a small community I don't want to disclose the entire situation or all the names involved, but to simply share this story with you, so bare with me!
Excuse me State of Wisconsin, can we talk? Oh I didn't think so..
why is it that people are left to fall through the cracks in our world, in our state? I have a developmentally disable brother, he lives with me and he is doing great. Most likely the best he's ever been and expected to continue on his climb up in life. So we are all good, for the most part. I am talking about the people similar to Steve that are not. Why can another person with similar disablities that is a threat to self, others and the community be left in the community? I asked this question the other day to a team of people that assist people with disabilities in the State. I found this out, something "worse" has to happen for the State of Wisconsin to get involved in placement with people with a disability. Seriously, how far do things need to go was my follow up question. The person has risked/threaten her dogs life physically, her parent is never around to provide her with structure, support or care. This person has been involved in illegal situations, is a bully and often is looked upon as a threat and/or risk in the community. This person needs the assistance of the State they live in. This person did not ASK to be born this way or to certain people. This person with developmental needs is IN NEED of some support and structure that the STATE of Wisconsin should be able to provide.........but they want to wait until "it gets worse" before they step in. I wonder if the State would like to know that sometimes the littlest things need to be done to fix a problem, possibly such as this one. And that "little fix" could mean the world to this person, a community and families.
Excuse me, State of Wisconsin, Can we talk?
Excuse me State of Wisconsin, can we talk? Oh I didn't think so..
why is it that people are left to fall through the cracks in our world, in our state? I have a developmentally disable brother, he lives with me and he is doing great. Most likely the best he's ever been and expected to continue on his climb up in life. So we are all good, for the most part. I am talking about the people similar to Steve that are not. Why can another person with similar disablities that is a threat to self, others and the community be left in the community? I asked this question the other day to a team of people that assist people with disabilities in the State. I found this out, something "worse" has to happen for the State of Wisconsin to get involved in placement with people with a disability. Seriously, how far do things need to go was my follow up question. The person has risked/threaten her dogs life physically, her parent is never around to provide her with structure, support or care. This person has been involved in illegal situations, is a bully and often is looked upon as a threat and/or risk in the community. This person needs the assistance of the State they live in. This person did not ASK to be born this way or to certain people. This person with developmental needs is IN NEED of some support and structure that the STATE of Wisconsin should be able to provide.........but they want to wait until "it gets worse" before they step in. I wonder if the State would like to know that sometimes the littlest things need to be done to fix a problem, possibly such as this one. And that "little fix" could mean the world to this person, a community and families.
Excuse me, State of Wisconsin, Can we talk?
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