Friday, November 13, 2009
He amazes me....
My brother tonight amazed me. He's always amazed me I should say. He's won the special olympics once (basketball). I cried that day of pure joy. He achieved getting his drivers lic., I cried that day. He's achieved having his own job, overcoming the looks. He is what we all should be. Not self absorbed, not self conscious. Tonight Steve asked if he was "down syndrome". I replied "No, why do you ask?" He thought that being DS was about figuring out your sexuality. (he's confused about sexualities b/c of other around him that are insensitive and rude to that matter) I said nothing more than, "No Steve, those two things are different." I went along with naming the people HE knew that were dx with Down Syndrome. Steve amazes me. I can sit next to Steve and feel honored, proud, that I get the chance to say I helped, that I get the chance to say, look at him...now that's an example for us all. That I get the chance to say that's my brother, that's my blood. This adult with disabilities works, is the most stable worker i know, the most dedicated to work person I know. He cares for everyone he encounters, even when it comes off as "inapropriate", it's caring. (trust me). I'm amazed by Steve every day of my life and every day of the rest of my life I will continue to be amazed.
Thursday, November 5, 2009
Just DO IT ALREADY!!!!!
This is what I don't understand about men, about my father. I love him to pieces, I really do. However, what is his deal when it comes to taking responsibility for things. Ie: my brother, Steve.Why can't he just DO IT ALREADY. Or when it comes to his own dreams/wants and desires in life. Why can he not just DO IT ALREADY?
When Steve needs something that's going to cost money (this usually being something that's expensive, large sums of money) and my parents are needing to provide that for him, my Dad is the one that throws the fit, never makes the move, until he's been bitched at for weeks or months. Ofcourse, in his deffense my mother doesn't always hold up her end of any deal. Meaning she sometimes doesn't provide her portion of the financies for Steve. (however, this is only the case every once in awhile). Anyways, my Dad sits here and hims and haws (sp) over these things forever, constantly trying to get myself and/or boyfriend involved, financially, so that he's not the only one putting forth the money. Today I just started yelling "he's not my friggin kid, but yet he lives with me, I provide all the time, I do this, that, etc...., so now i'm saying there is no F'in way i'm providing this when he's YOUR SON." (I mean, come on people, I do alot for my brother and I don't think that while both our parents are living I should have to provide the things that are either out of my reach or way too expensive (big purchase items).))
Do you think my point got thru? NOPE! I can promise you that this will arise again, I will be asked again to help out financially. The problem is that I don't think my dad see's it as not taking responsibility for Steve. I think he knows his role, but is cheap. How can I tell him that this is his deal, he needs to do it already?
Also, My Dad is always wanting to go out of state, visit a nice place for 6 mos out of the year. No not FL or somewhere warm. He LOVES Alaska, Colo.,etc.. He has the means to do so and has looked into every area of this country he'd like to visit/live for short term and has even made arrangements a few times. So why won't my Father live out his dream? B/c he's afraid he'll miss something w/my girls and I. He doesn't want to miss a moment. Possibly a moment he never had with myself or Steve (considering my parents were divorced when I was 5y/o). However, in a 6 mos stretch I can promise NOTHING too important will happen, especially over Winter (yuk).
So here are my two wishes for the day/month and possibly even year (though i'm sure i'll add more).
1. My father to take more responsibility for Steve (appreciate what I do and help me)
2. My father to do what he wants for once, meaning go on that vacation, live elsewhere for 6mos. Live out the dream he has so he can say HE DID IT.
JUST DO IT ALREADY DAD!
When Steve needs something that's going to cost money (this usually being something that's expensive, large sums of money) and my parents are needing to provide that for him, my Dad is the one that throws the fit, never makes the move, until he's been bitched at for weeks or months. Ofcourse, in his deffense my mother doesn't always hold up her end of any deal. Meaning she sometimes doesn't provide her portion of the financies for Steve. (however, this is only the case every once in awhile). Anyways, my Dad sits here and hims and haws (sp) over these things forever, constantly trying to get myself and/or boyfriend involved, financially, so that he's not the only one putting forth the money. Today I just started yelling "he's not my friggin kid, but yet he lives with me, I provide all the time, I do this, that, etc...., so now i'm saying there is no F'in way i'm providing this when he's YOUR SON." (I mean, come on people, I do alot for my brother and I don't think that while both our parents are living I should have to provide the things that are either out of my reach or way too expensive (big purchase items).))
Do you think my point got thru? NOPE! I can promise you that this will arise again, I will be asked again to help out financially. The problem is that I don't think my dad see's it as not taking responsibility for Steve. I think he knows his role, but is cheap. How can I tell him that this is his deal, he needs to do it already?
Also, My Dad is always wanting to go out of state, visit a nice place for 6 mos out of the year. No not FL or somewhere warm. He LOVES Alaska, Colo.,etc.. He has the means to do so and has looked into every area of this country he'd like to visit/live for short term and has even made arrangements a few times. So why won't my Father live out his dream? B/c he's afraid he'll miss something w/my girls and I. He doesn't want to miss a moment. Possibly a moment he never had with myself or Steve (considering my parents were divorced when I was 5y/o). However, in a 6 mos stretch I can promise NOTHING too important will happen, especially over Winter (yuk).
So here are my two wishes for the day/month and possibly even year (though i'm sure i'll add more).
1. My father to take more responsibility for Steve (appreciate what I do and help me)
2. My father to do what he wants for once, meaning go on that vacation, live elsewhere for 6mos. Live out the dream he has so he can say HE DID IT.
JUST DO IT ALREADY DAD!
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